The Reason My Jeans Are Fitting A Little Tight

And not just my skinny jeans either.

But I think I have figured it all out, the French are secretly trying to kill off Americans with all their pastries, campaillettes, cheese and chocolate.

Well, HA! Frenchies, I'm onto you and your little conspiracy.

And it won't work anymore! Not because I have a strong will, but because I have a train ticket out of here in less than a month!

Take that!