Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Top Ten Things I Shouldn't Admit On My Blog

I was at the park the other day talking to some of my friends about blogs and how they can make you feel inadequate. It seems like some blogs just show these perfect moms in their perfect houses with their perfect children baking perfect cookies and doing perfect art projects. We all suspect these perfect worlds are fabricated by carefully selected camera angles and very limited glimpses into those rare, perfect moments. So, to do the complete opposite of what these blogs do to our psyches, I thought I would show you what my life really looks like, and admit to the things I usually like to hide. Call it a reality check for blogging moms everywhere.

The Top Ten Things I Shouldn't Admit On My Blog
  1. I never make my bed, or my kids beds. I guess I should, but there is something very uptight about a made bed to me. I guess that an unmade bed always looks like it's just calling me over to take a nice relaxing nap, even though I don't get them most days. I do like the look of the beds made when I am in a cleaning mood, but really, it rarely happens.
  2. Sometimes I make terrible food for my kids. Not all the time, and I do cook really good stuff often, but there are days that I just pull out the box of Macaroni and Cheese or make some of the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets in the freezer. And I convince them to eat their dinner by bribing them with dessert. I think they'll survive. (Kraft Macaroni & Cheese and chicken nuggets are cardinal sins among many of my friends, so hopefully they'll still talk to me).
  3. I hate cleaning the bathroom. I mean, really hate it, and I really am a bit uptight about neatness. I usually get Steve to clean them when they get really bad, but I put it off as much as possible. I love the way they look and smell when they're done, but I just HATE cleaning them. Don't know why. In fact, this is what my master bathroom looks like at the moment (yes, I can't even blame this on the kids. Be sure to check out the water marks on the mirror over the sink. Yep, I'm letting it all hang out.):
  4. I get terribly bored when playing with my kids. Jack loves me to play with the Playmobil pirates with him, which really means that I put the stuff together and just watch him as he plays, and then take the shark and have it chase the pirates and try to bite them over, and over, and over again. Does that sound fun to you? I love him so I do it, but I always try to convince him to do something else before I finally give in.
  5. Kid's art projects stress me out. My Mom was excellent at letting us make messes and planning creative things for us to do. I still remember when we dipped candles in our backyard one summer. She's a great artist and has that laid-back artist attitude, but I do not. I think it may have become worse because of the white carpet we had in our last house. But I just hate the mess. I hate it. I'm slowly trying to get over this because Jack is into cutting anything he can get his hands on and makes a million little scraps. I'm learning to let it go, but it is a process.
  6. I watch way too much TV. I am really very particular about what my kids watch and don't watch on TV and for how long, but when it comes to me I can just sit down for hours and watch the lamest stuff around. One of my friends once told me that she didn't believe I ever sit around watching TV. I have only one thing to say to her: believe it. My favorites are America's Next Top Model, American Idol, and Project Runway. Do they make me a better or more intelligent person? No. Do they help me maintain my sanity at the end of the day? Yes. I'm trying to read more. My book group is helping.
  7. I spend too much time on my laptop. First I spent way too much time on real estate websites trying to figure out where we could live and cope with life. Second, I got way too into Ebay. Now, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm more than just a little obsessed with this blog thing.
  8. I don't dust. My proper English grandma would be so ashamed of me, but I really don't see the point of dusting. Unless, of course, the dust is on my TV or my laptop (see #6 & #7). To be honest, if I see a layer of dust on something, I'll eventually get around to it. I think my aversion to dusting comes from too many years working in bookstores and having to dust books and bookcases endlessly. It just seemed so futile because as soon as we finished, we had to start all over again. If there is a hell (and I'm probably going there due to the Blue Spruce), I bet it involves a lot of dusting.
  9. I let my kids play computer games. I always admire those parents who don't have a TV and don't allow video games in their houses, but I'm not one of them. I don't think they are the most constructive thing in the world, but I love them myself and don't think they are all that bad. Both Max and Jack love, and I let them play for a half hour each every day. At least they're doing it together.
  10. My Tupperware is stored like this:
There you go, no more unrealistic expectations coming from this blog. Hope this makes someone else feel a little better about their real life, free of strategic camera angles.


Kate Bailey said...

That is great! Way to let it all out there and not care what anyone thinks. It is kind of disgusting how perfect some people's lives seem on their blogs, isn't it? We can all put on a show, but we've got to accept reality at some point! :)

sarah said...

Great post, Laura (you courageous one). I think one of these posts should be a pre-requisite to any blog-writer. Ummm, I guess that means I'll have to let it all out soon. Which shouldn't be hard since now that our house is off the market it looks like a bomb just exploded in my kitchen.